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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599386">The Team Finds Out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkAgent/pseuds/TheDarkAgent'>TheDarkAgent</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Exposed, F/M, One Shot Collection, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:28:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,429</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599386</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkAgent/pseuds/TheDarkAgent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots depicting the various ways Team Mustang finds out that the relationship between the Colonel and his most precious subordinate is more than it appears. </p><p>Mini smut. Canon compliant. Royai. Fluffy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>199</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Slippery when wet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This first one shot was inspired by my dad's recent brain bleed and subsequent brain surgeries. Luckily, Roy gets off way easier!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“That’s it! Next time I come home covered in sewage, I’m quitting the military!”</p>
<p>Beside him, Riza rolled her eyes as she began to unlock her front door. “Stop being dramatic, this is only the second time this happened.”</p>
<p>“Which is two times too many, if you ask me,” Roy whined.</p>
<p>“Take all your clothes off as soon as you’re inside so I can put them in the wash,” Riza said once she had unlocked her apartment. “I don’t need this mess getting all over the place.” </p>
<p>“Why Lieutenant- if you wanted to seduce me, you could have just said so.” </p>
<p>If looks could kill, Roy’s life would have ended right there. </p>
<p>“Roy, I’m tired and I’m wet. I want a quick shower, fresh pajamas and then I’m going to sleep.” </p>
<p>“Can I join you at least?” He asked hopefully. </p>
<p>“Of course, I’m not going to have you stand there dripping sewage all over my wood floors while I take a bath. But keep your hands to yourself. I meant it when I said I was exhausted.” </p>
<p>The two jumped into Riza’s shower and spent the first few minutes in silence as they worked to wash all the grime off of their bodies and out of their hair. They had spent their night chasing down a high profile bank thief with the team. Everything had been going smoothly until the thief was cornered and decided to reveal right then and there that he knew alchemy by blowing up the nearby sewage line. While no one had been injured, the smell alone was enough to cause nightmares for months to follow. </p>
<p>“It’s a shame about Fuery’s equipment,” Riza said softly once she was satisfied all the dirt had been washed off of her. </p>
<p>“In any other situation, I would suggest salvaging it, but considering the circumstances I think we can find room in the budget to replace it,” Roy answered. </p>
<p>“Oh, we will?” Riza teased as she began to run her fingers up and down his chest. “How generous of you, sir.” She leaned in and placed a kiss on the pulse of his neck. </p>
<p>I’m too tired, my ass, thought Roy. </p>
<p>“I am, aren’t I?” He teased. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began kissing her ear. “Just wait and see how generous I can really be.” </p>
<p>Riza let out a small moan and Roy captured her lips to kiss her deeply. One hand wrapped itself firmly around her waist for support and the other slowly began to explore the smooth skin along her hip bone, her waist, her stomach and her inner thigh. Everywhere but where she wanted. </p>
<p>“Stop. Teasing.” She panted between his kisses. </p>
<p>“As you wish,” he smirked before diving his fingers in her. She let out a small squeak and Roy relished at the sound of Riza turning into putty in his hands. He began to increase his speed as he bit her neck. </p>
<p>“Roy- Just like that, yes,” she moaned, leaning into his hands. Her face was flushed from the warmth of the water and their activities. She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. “Faster...faster, please Roy! Faster!” </p>
<p>He continued to work his fingers deep into her. “Come for me, Riza,” he ordered in her ear. “Look me in the eyes and come for me.” </p>
<p>Riza opened her eyes and looked up to meet his own. Roy was looking down at her, his free hand on the wall for support. Roy growled against her lips as he listened to her moan uncontrollably. “I’m going to finish making you come and then I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll feel me every time you sit down for the next week.” </p>
<p>Riza let out a low moan. She was so close. “More, please Roy. Just a little more. I’m so close-” </p>
<p>“AHHH!” </p>
<p>The last next thing Roy knew, his vision went black. </p>
<p>/-/-/ </p>
<p>**Ring! Ring!** </p>
<p>“Oh my god, who the fuck is calling you right now?” Rebecca groaned from her side of the bed. </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Havoc replied as he headed into his living room to answer the phone. He picked up the receiver. “Jean Havoc speaking.” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry to wake you up so late,” the voice said on the line. </p>
<p>“Hawkeye? Is everything okay? You're still not at the scene, are you?” </p>
<p>“No,” she sighed. “Although right now that seems preferable. I’m at the hospital with the Colonel.” </p>
<p>“Why?” Jean was suddenly wide awake. “What happened?” </p>
<p>“He slipped in the shower and hit his head. He’s been unconscious since. The doctor said there should be no long term side effects but he’s been out cold for an hour.” </p>
<p>“I get it. I’ll head right over.” </p>
<p>“You can bring Rebecca.”</p>
<p>“What- how-”</p>
<p>“Oh please. Havoc you do know she tells me everything you’ve ever done, ever? Regardless, I’m exhausted. Mind bringing me a cup of coffee and something to eat while you’re at it?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, I can do that,” Havoc said, happy Riza changed the subject so quickly. “Want me to tell the others?” </p>
<p>“No, I can call them. It will give me something to do besides pacing up and down the waiting room.” </p>
<p>“See you soon, Hawkeye.” </p>
<p>By the time the team arrived, Roy was beginning to stir in his hospital bed. </p>
<p>“You alright, Chief?” Havoc asked as he walked into the room. </p>
<p>Roy sat up slowly before covering his eyes with his hands, feebly attempting to block out the glaring hospital lights. “Ow.” </p>
<p>“Take it easy, Colonel,” The nurse warned as she helped prop him up against some pillows and gave him a cup of water. “You hit your head quite hard against the tub.” </p>
<p>“Feels like it,” he grumbled. </p>
<p>“I’m going to go get the doctor now that he’s awake,” the nurse said, turning to Riza. “But he’s already able to hold a conversation so that’s good news.” She left the room, leaving Roy to the mercy of his team. </p>
<p>“The sewage wasn’t enough? You just had to go give yourself a concussion?” </p>
<p>“Shut up, Harpy.” </p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, he’s going to be fine,” Breda said with a laugh. </p>
<p>“Sir, it may be best if you just lay back down until the doctor can properly assess you,” Riza’s voice was stern but filled with concern. </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Roy said as he laid back down, wincing when his head hit his pillow. </p>
<p>The doctor walked in, took one look around the room and laughed. “Seems like we have the whole crew here.” </p>
<p>“We do,” Hawkeye muttered. </p>
<p>“I’m Doctor Hale, Colonel,” he continued. “Mind if I do a few assessments?” He turned to the team. “Do you mind going to the waiting room? I need to evaluate the extent of the Colonel’s concussion and it will be easier without an audience.” </p>
<p>“Of course not, sir,” Havoc said as the group stood up to leave the room. </p>
<p>From her chair Hawkeye crosses her arms. “If I can stay, I’d prefer to. I'm both the colonel’s body guard and his emergency contact.”</p>
<p>“Of course, Lieutenant,” Dr. Hale said with a soft smile. “Now, Colonel, can you please follow my finger with just your eyes?” </p>
<p>Twenty minutes later, Hawkeye entered the waiting room to find the team half asleep in their chairs. </p>
<p>“So how is he?” Fuery asked. </p>
<p>“He’s alright. He has a moderate concussion and it’s recommended he take the next week easy. He may have more trouble than normal focusing-” she rolled her eyes- “so I have that to look forward to. His black eye is coming in nicely as well. Considering he was fully unconscious for over an hour, he’s getting off pretty lucky.” </p>
<p>“That’s great to hear,” Rebecca said. “Now that we know he isn’t going to suffer irreversible brain damage, can we go home and sleep?” </p>
<p>“Of course, I can take him home from here.” </p>
<p>“Oh I’m sure you can, Hawkeye.” </p>
<p>Riza’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Pardon?” </p>
<p>“One small question.” </p>
<p>“Out with it, Havoc.”</p>
<p>“Care to explain how the Colonel called for help if he was unconscious in the shower the entire time?” </p>
<p>Fuck. </p>
<p>Before Riza was able to think of a response, Breda smiled and gave her a small wink. </p>
<p>“Only joking, Hawkeye. Didn’t you hear Elizabeth is in town?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kain Furey May Never Recover From This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kain Fuery is in for the surprise of his life. And not in a good way.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You wanted to see me, sir?” Furey said as he walked through the door to Roy’s private office. </p><p>“Ah, yes, sit down Furey,” Mustang said as he motioned to one of the chairs in front of his desk. Furey took a seat. “You know where Lieutenant Hawkeye lives, correct?”</p><p>Behind his glasses, Furey blinked a few times. “Ummm... yes, sir. I’ll walk Hayate for her on occasion when she is unable to leave the office on time.” </p><p>“Good. I have a favor to ask of you. Hawkeye’s birthday is the 2nd and I’ve arranged for a birthday cake to be prepared the morning of by the bakery down the street from her place. Anthony’s, do you know the one? I need you to pick up the cake before coming into work that day and drop it off at her apartment. It’s a surprise, so don’t say anything. You know where she keeps the emergency key, correct?” </p><p>“Yes,” Furey said. “But if it's a surprise, why am I bringing the cake to her apartment? Doesn’t that seem… a bit obvious?” </p><p>Roy smirked. “It’s the best place to hide it. The Lieutenant will be at work all day because she has continually denied my suggestions to take the day off. On top of that, all we have to do is show up on her doorstep after work. No need to try and trick her into joining us at a bar or cafe.” </p><p>“You know Hawkeye hates when we make a fuss over her birthday, sir,” Furey said cautiously. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”</p><p>“Yes,” said Roy, his tone serious. He paused for a moment and it was clear that his mind had traveled away from the conversation. “There was a point when… well, when I was convinced she wasn’t going to see another day, let alone another birthday. That’s worth celebrating, in my opinion.” </p><p>Hawkeye and Mustang had remained in the hospital for two weeks caring for their injuries. She had lost a lot of blood and it took almost a week before climbing down the hospital stairs stopped making her dizzy. Roy had spent weeks with his hands bandaged, not knowing until almost a month later if he was going to regain use of his left thumb. </p><p>But the real obstacle was the emotional one. Guilt had rattled through Riza’s mind at all hours as she forced herself to accept the reality that for one genuine minute, Roy had been willing to perform the ultimate taboo to save her. Roy found himself dreaming of Riza drowning in a river of her own blood, terrified that he had been so close to losing her. </p><p>‘Yes,” said Fuery, pulling Roy back into the conversation. “I guess a small birthday celebration is what everyone needs. It should lighten the mood before leaving for Ishval at the end of next month. But sir, why are you asking me now? Her birthday isl two weeks away.” </p><p>“Because it’s Hawkeye. It’s better I arrange this now. The closer we get to her birthday, the more likely she is to figure it out.” </p><p>“That makes sense. Is there anything else I can assist you with, sir?”</p><p>Roy shook his head. “You are dismissed, Master Sergeant.” </p><p>/-/-/</p><p>The days passed by uneventfully as Roy’s team began to prepare for their departure to Ishval. They had assembled a crew of soldiers, many willing volunteers who had offered their services to Roy in hopes of making a true difference, and were beginning to father all the supplies they would need for a year in the desert. Late nights became routine and before Roy knew it, it was the evening before Riza’s birthday. </p><p>“I think we should call it a night, Lieutenant,” Roy said with a smile. “I can drive you home.” </p><p>Riza looked up from the expenditure report she had been reviewing. “We aren’t finished, sir.” </p><p>“Let me rephrase that, then. We are calling it a night, Lieutenant. I will be driving you home.” </p><p>Riza’s eyebrows raised as she gave Roy an incredulous look. “My birthday isn’t until tomorrow, sir.” </p><p>Roy smirked. He stood up and began to put on his coat. “Have it your way, but there may or may not be a surprise waiting for you at my house.” </p><p>“What happened to you driving me home?” Riza asked coyly as she silently gave in and began to put on her coat. </p><p>“I never said whose home.” </p><p>Riza rolled her eyes, but said nothing as she followed the General out of the room. Every year, like clockwork, he would feign stealth and arrange a ridiculous celebration on her behalf. While Riza found his attempts at surprising her amusing, she had grown up in a no-nonsense household, with the attitude translating to her birthday as well. She didn’t need the fancy gifts or lavish, home cooked, candlelight dinners. All she needed was Roy. </p><p>She told him so every year and every year he ignored her. </p><p>They arrived at his rent house and Roy’s eagerness was tangible. He gave Riza a mischievous smile as he unlocked the door, only to swing it open and have his face fall in horror at the sight. </p><p>The entire house was flooded and water rushed through the open door, soaking the shoes of the two startled soldiers. </p><p>“What the fuck?” Roy said, his eyes wide. They walked inside and after a brief investigation, discovered a kitchen pipe had burst. </p><p>“Can you fix this with alchemy?” Riza asked. </p><p>“I could,” Roy said as he desperately evaluated the state of his living room. “But my lease requires me to inform my landlord of any necessary repairs before I do. He likes to decide if it’s worth the insurance claim or not. And after last time with the stove… I’d rather not risk being evicted.” </p><p>“You need to buy a house,” Riza essentially ordered. “Soon. What General in the Amestrian military still rents a one bedroom townhome?” </p><p>Roy rubbed his hands through his hair, clearly bested. “You’re right. This may just be the stick that broke the camel’s back.” He sighed. “Let me grab a few things and make a few calls and we can head to your place. I couldn’t stay here if I wanted to.” </p><p>An hour later, the pair walked through the doors to Riza’s studio apartment. </p><p>“So, what’s this surprise you promise back at the office?” Riza asked, hoping to distract Roy from the disarray that was his home. </p><p>“Oh, that,” he groaned. “That was just to trick you into leaving the office. Your birthday isn’t until tomorrow, after all.” </p><p>Riza looked over at the small clock hanging on the wall. “It’s almost midnight, sir.” </p><p>“Well…” Roy said, his eyes growing dark as they scanned up and down her figure. “I can think of one way to celebrate.” </p><p>Riza rolled her eyes but followed him to the bed, a smile on her face. </p><p>/-/-/</p><p>Riza woke up with Roy’s arms wrapped around her waist, holding her flush against his chest. She looked over at the clock on her bedroom wall- 6 am, as usual. </p><p>As she moved to get up to start her day, Roy instinctively tightened his grip on her. </p><p>“No, stay,” he muttered without opening his eyes. </p><p>“Roy, I have to take Hayate out,” Riza said softly. </p><p>“Okay, but then I expect you back in bed,” the general grumbled. </p><p>“No, then we get ready for work.”</p><p>“But it’s your birthday!”</p><p>“You’re trying to use my own birthday against me again?”</p><p>Roy begrudgingly opened one of his eyes. “Riza, I told everyone at the office that you had a mandatory birthday breakfast with your grandfather. They aren’t expecting us until at least 10 am. You will let Hayate out and then you will get back in this bed and into my arms.”</p><p>“That’s rather irresponsible, sir.” </p><p>“What is the team going to do? Ask the Fuhrer for proof?” </p><p>Riza frowned at Roy’s admittance of his lie to the team, but knew that any efforts to argue further would be futile. Showing up to the office on time would only expose his deception. She silently decided to lecture him about his recklessness tomorrow and take the rare opportunity to enjoy today. </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, she crawled back into bed and was immediately enveloped by Roy. His body heat lulled her back into a deep sleep. </p><p>She slept for another two hours, only stirred from her dream when Roy’s lips gently began trailing down the back of her neck as his hands roamed the curve of her waist. </p><p>“Happy birthday, love,” Roy said mischievously. He bent down to kiss her collarbone. “Are you ready for the first half of your present?”</p><p> </p><p>“What was last night, then?” Riza asked, a smile on her face. </p><p>“Warm up.” Roy rolled Riza onto her back, placing himself above her. He bent down and gave her a long, passionate kiss and she groaned into his mouth. His hands roamed her body as they undressed. </p><p>“How do you want it, Riza?” Roy teased as he bit her ear. “It’s your birthday. I’ll do anything you like.” </p><p>“Anything?” </p><p>“Anything.”</p><p>Riza giggled before flipping Roy over onto his back, taking him by surprise. She smirked and grabbed his chin, holding it firmly as she met his gaze. “Then you’re going to sit back and let me use you until I’m good and satisfied. Don’t you dare cum until I say you can. Understand, General?” </p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Roy groaned at her words, practically melting as she eased him inside her. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to fully enjoy Riza’s display of dominance, her hips beginning to move in that dangerous way that drove him wild. </p><p>The two were so consumed in each other that they did not hear the sound of the front door latch clicking. </p><p>“OH MY GOD!” </p><p>“AHHH!” </p><p>“SHIT!”</p><p>In perfect unison, Roy and Riza turned to face their intruder. Standing in the doorway of Riza’s studio, looking shell-shocked, was Kain Fuery. </p><p>In panic, Roy practically threw Riza off of him as he fumbled to put as much distance between himself and his favorite subordinate, as though it would somehow help. Riza threw him a hostile glare as she almost fell off the side of the bed, desperately pulling at the cotton sheets to cover her naked body. </p><p>And yet, for all the panic in their eyes, Fuery was handling the situation much worse. </p><p>The birthday cake he had been carrying was on the floor, smashed in a buttercream splatter that spread across the entryway and onto both Fuery and the walls. He was frozen, as though he had discovered a poltergeist and it had immediately sucked out his soul, leaving only the shell of his body. </p><p>Riza half expected him to faint. </p><p>“Well this is unfortunate,” Roy said after a while, the casual tone of his voice clearly forced. </p><p>“What- How- When…” Fuery stumbled. </p><p>“I think we permanently broke him, sir,” Riza said quietly, low enough for only Roy to hear. “Are you okay Master Sergeant?” She finally asked. </p><p>Fuery seemed to collect himself at this question and turned to look at Roy, eyes heated. “You told me to bring the cake here!” </p><p>Riza turned to Roy, her eyes burning with rage. “You told him WHAT?” </p><p>“Um,” Roy stuttered. “I told Fuery to pick up your birthday cake and hide it here. The last place you’d expect me to hide it would be your own refrigerator, right Lieutenant?” </p><p>“Oh don’t ‘right Lieutenant’ me! Please explain why Fuery is in my house knowing full well we are here and what we had planned to do.” </p><p>Roy looked over at Fuery who was still standing in the ruined cake, eyes frantically hurrying back and forth between his two still-naked commanding officers. “As you can see, I forgot.” </p><p>“No shit you forgot!” </p><p>“I might have told him weeks ago. I believe I wanted to throw you off the scent.” Riza threw him another incredulous look. “What? How was I supposed to know the pipes in my kitchen were going to burst!” </p><p>Riza put her head in her hands, messaging her forehead with her thumbs. No one spoke for a while before she finally looked up. “Kain, do you mind waiting in the hallway for the General and I to get dressed? Don’t go anywhere. Obviously, we need to talk.” </p><p>Ten minutes later, the trio gathered around the dining table as Riza prepared a pot of tea. The ruined cake had been hastily cleaned up and tossed in the trash. </p><p>“Okay,” Roy said awkwardly. He was unsure how to start. “I guess-”</p><p>“Who else knows?” Furey interrupted. </p><p>Riza sighed. “Roy’s aunt, Rebecca Catalina and, once, Maes Hughes.” </p><p>“How long?” Fuery asked. </p><p>“Does it matter?” Roy asked. </p><p>“Sir, he just caught us in a compromising position- thanks to you- the least we can do is answer Fuery’s questions.” </p><p>Roy sighed, relenting. “The first time? Oh about six months, but Riza wasn’t in the military yet. This go-round… shortly after Ishval.” </p><p>Furey nodded, absorbing his words. He suspected as much. “If this ever gets out, you’re going to make someone in the office pool very wealthy.” </p><p>“Office pool?” Riza’s eyes narrowed. </p><p>“Yeah.” Fuery only shrugged. “Everyone basically knows. It would take a lot to convince the team otherwise. If it’s any reassurance, no one has any concrete evidence- well until now- so a few of us thought the Lieutenant kept you grounded, sir. That you two were all talk and no action.”</p><p>“You understand you can’t tell anyone, Kain,” Riza said. </p><p>“Oh I would never. Honestly, there is nothing I want more than to forget everything I just saw here. I can’t stress how much I wish that.” Fuery zoned out for a brief moment, before shuddering to himself and returning to Roy and Riza.</p><p>They chatted for a few more minutes and once Roy and Riza were confident their youngest subordinate was unlikely to suffer extensive mental trauma, they bid him good day, informing Fuery that they would be in the office within the next hour and that if he needed too, he could take the morning off and report in after lunch. </p><p>Once he had left, Roy turned to Riza. “I’m not sure how that could have been worse.”</p><p>“I can,” Riza said simply. “He could have noticed the tattoo.” </p><p>“You think he didn’t?” Roy frowned. In his panic, the tattoo’s discovery had not crossed his mind once. </p><p>Riza shrugged. “The bed is at an angle. He may have, but I know Kain. He would have asked. He was probably distracted by the fact we were fucking. And naked. Regardless, I may ask him later down the road once he’s… recovered a little. I don’t think we have to worry about him saying anything even if he did see but didn’t want to ask. He looked like he would rather die than admit what he saw to anyone.” </p><p>For the tenth time that morning, Roy put his head in his hands. “What a way to start your birthday. I’m sorry, Riza.” </p><p>“Don’t be, I still have your surprise, remember?” She smiled softly. </p><p>Roy looked up at her, his face transformed. “That’s right.” He stood up and walked over to his coat hanging by the door of her studio. Reaching inside one of the pockets, he pulled out a small black box. “Before you lecture me, it’s not a ring,” he said, addressing the weary expression on Riza’s face. </p><p>Riza tentatively took the box from his hands and opened it to find two small lapel pins sitting on black velvet. </p><p>“The ceremony isn’t until next week, but I got Grumman’s permission to give this to you today. Congratulations, Captain Hawkeye.” </p><p>Riza’s eyes grew wide and she leaned forward, planting a thankful kiss on Roy’s mouth. “Thank you, sir.” </p><p>“Don’t thank me, you’ve earned this. Fully. Now, get ready. We need to stop by the bakery at the street corner before we get to the office.” </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Roy’s laugh was full of guilt. “I may or may not have invited the team over for an impromptu birthday party tonight after work. That’s why Fuery was delivering your cake. If they show up and the cake is suddenly missing, they may start asking questions.” </p><p>“ROY!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone who has left a comment or kudos! It makes my heart happy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The One with the Sweater</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Havoc and Breda discover a certain clue to who Hawkeye's mystery man is...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Deeply inspired by an episode of FRIENDS, but still, somehow, canon compliant....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Nice hickey, Hawkeye.” </p><p>Havoc’s words caused Riza to pause to a halt. Looking up from her desk, she gave her Second Lieutenant a cold, hard stare. “Pardon?” Her voice echoed a challenge. </p><p>“I said nice hickey,” Havoc replied without fear, rubbing a hand up and down his neck.</p><p>Riza continued to glare at him. “Very funny Havoc.”</p><p>From the desk next to Havoc, Breda cleared his throat. “You might want to look in a mirror, Hawkeye.” </p><p>Riza frowned, but she stood up from her desk and exited the office. As she walked to the bathroom, she debated what punishment she would delve out to her subordinates if this turned out to be a prank. </p><p>If it wasn’t a prank, someone else would be in much more trouble than Breda or Havoc could imagine. </p><p>To her dismay, the large, purple bruise on the left side of her neck was overwhelmingly noticeable. She grimaced at her reflection. She was going to kill Roy. </p><p>He had come over late last night, a new file fresh from Grumman’s office in his hands. They had spent an hour pouring over the folder’s contents before opening a bottle of wine. A few glasses later and they had tumbled into her bed, eager to indulge in the other. It had been far too long since their last encounter and Riza had allowed Roy to consume her mind and body completely. </p><p>Apparently too completely, Riza thought with a frown. In their drunkenness, Roy had carelessly given her a visible mark and Riza had not noticed in her flurry to get ready this morning. </p><p>Riza unpinned her shoulder length hair. She never wore makeup to work- it was far too impractical for a soldier- and had no other option of covering the obscene mark. She studied her reflection for a moment. Her hair helped to hide it, but the dark purple of the hickey was still visible as her hair shifted with her movements. She silently wished it was longer.</p><p>She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was twenty-four years old and a newly promoted First Lieutenant in the Amestrian military. Other than her embarrassment, she would survive until the bruise faded. </p><p>She begrudgingly headed back to the office, pulling her collar up before sitting back down in her chair and silently resuming her work, ignoring the pointed looks from Breda and Havoc across the desk. </p><p>“So who's the lucky guy?” Havoc finally asked, unable to contain himself any longer. </p><p>“It’s none of your business,” Riza said through gritted teeth. She bent further forward and attempted to channel all of her focus on the paperwork in front of her. </p><p>“Oh come on, Hawkeye,” Havoc groaned. “That’s no fun. You know all about my dates. So tell me, is he a soldier? Civilian? Come to think of it, I don’t even know what your type is.” </p><p>“That’s because it’s none of your business.” Riza’s words stung like acid. </p><p>“What’s none of Havoc’s business?” </p><p>The team turned to find the source of Riza’s dismay walking into the room almost an hour late. Riza quickly looked him over for any matching marks that would suggest he had had anything other than a late night in the office last night. As expected, she had left none. </p><p>Damn him. </p><p>“Havoc’s just trying to learn more about Hawkeye’s date last night,” Breda said, fully throwing his best friend under the bus. </p><p>“Look at the size of the hickey on her neck chief!” Havoc insisted. </p><p>Even Riza had to admit that Roy’s performance was flawless as he glanced at his subordinate. “Fun night, Hawkeye?” he asked her in the same manner he asked the other men about their bedroom escapades.  </p><p>“I was just letting Havoc know it was none of his business, sir.” She stood up from her chair. “I’m going to get a cup of coffee and a snack from the mess hall. When I get back, you all better be working or so help me I will make you wish you were transferring. Understood, gentlemen?” </p><p>The room was quiet as Riza stormed out and the men began to furiously work on the paperwork before them, the topic already abandoned.</p><p>/-/-/ </p><p>“Hawkeye, can I please see the Jefferson file?” Mustang asked three hours later. </p><p>Riza looked up from her desk and blinked furiously. “Um, I don’t have it with me sir.” She could picture the folder perfectly, still sitting on her coffee table where they had abandoned it for the bedroom. Though Riza had avoided a hangover, she woke up unsually late and in her hurry to show up to work exactly on time, she had forgotten the folder.  She cursed internally. “I took it home last night to review it and I’m afraid I left it there.” </p><p>“Yeah, probably too distracted,” Havoc joked before Riza shut him up with a glare. </p><p>Roy sighed. “We need that file before our meeting with Grumman at three.” </p><p>“I can run home and get it, sir,” Riza politely offered. </p><p>“And leave me to fend for myself during the budget briefing in an hour? Not happening.” Roy turned to the rest of his men. “Breda, do you think you can swing by the Lieutenant’s apartment and grab the file?” </p><p>“Of course, sir.” </p><p>Riza relented and pulled out her house key. “It’s on my coffee table. Take Hayate out while you're there.”</p><p>At the mention of the black Shibu Inu, Breda grew pale. </p><p>Before Breda could speak his thoughts, Roy let out a sigh. “Havoc, go with Breda to protect him from the twenty-pound dog. I don’t know why I’m allowing this to be a two-person job, but just get it done.” </p><p>Hawkeye’s apartment was only a few blocks from Eastern Command and twenty minutes later, Breda and Havoc arrived at her front door. Breda went to fetch the file on Hawkeye’s coffee table as Havoc took out Black Hayate, the little dog barking with gratitude to his daytime visitors. </p><p>While he waited for Havoc to return, Breda sat down on the couch and opened the file. It detailed the accounts of a rogue alchemist who was wanted by the military for using his powers to create gold and establishing an underground weapons trade. This would be fun. </p><p>“Hey, Breda! Look at this!” Havoc called from the kitchen, pulling Breda’s focus away from the file in his lap. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Havoc pointed to the sink where two wine glasses stood in the drying rack. “Looks like Hawkeye’s date spent the night here.” </p><p>“Why are so you interested in this, Jean?” Breda asked. “Give the woman some privacy.” </p><p>“That’s just it! I’ve never heard Hawkeye talk about a single person she’s dated the entire time I’ve known her and now she shows up to work with a hickey all over her neck! Hell, I know so little about Hawkeye’s love life we don’t even know she’s into guys or girls!” </p><p>“Yes we do,” Breda said. He walked over to the coat rack standing by Riza’s front door. He motioned at a large, red sweater hanging from the top hook. “I bet you anything that’s her date's jacket. Looks too big to be Hawkeye’s and it’s definitely a men’s sweater.” </p><p>“Perfect!” Havoc said as he snatched the sweater off its hook. “Now all we need is to find the owner.” </p><p>“You’re not seriously going to take it?” Breda said hesitantly. </p><p>“You bet your ass I am,” Havoc said gleefully. “If Hawkeye forgot the Jefferson file, I promise she was so out of it this morning she may not even know this was left here.” </p><p>“You’re going to get us fired. Or worse, shot,” Breda said as he shook his head. </p><p>“Calm down,” Havoc dismissed. “Let’s go, unless you’d like to be left alone here with Hayate…” </p><p>The two were out the door a minute later, all protests from Breda silenced. </p><p>/-/-/ </p><p>“Hey Falman,Furey, look what we found,” Havoc threw the sweater over to where the two officers were sitting. “What do you make of it?</p><p>“Cashmere. This is luxurious and was probably purchased in a department store,” Falman said matter-of-factly. “This would cost a pretty penny. Why? Whose sweater is it?” </p><p>“That’s the thing,” Havoc said mischievously. “We found it at Hawkeye’s house. It must belong to her mysterious man.” </p><p>“Ah,” Falman said. He pulled at the sweaters label. “It’s a large, the most common size for men’s clothing. I don’t smell any identifying cologne and it appears clean and free of stains.” </p><p>“I told you taking it was a dumb idea,” Breda groaned. “You better hope Hawkeye doesn’t notice we took it. And you better hide it soon. They should be back from the budget meeting soon to pick up the Jefferson file on their way to Grumman’s office.” </p><p>“I don’t know why you took that. If the Lieutenant finds out…” Fuery said, fear evident in his voice.</p><p>“No risk, no reward,” Havoc said as he hid the sweater inside his lower desk drawer. “I guess we can deal with this later.” </p><p>Less than a minute after the stolen garment was successfully tucked out of sight, Roy and Riza walked back into the office. Riza’s hair was still down in a meager attempt to cover the offensive mark on her neck. </p><p>“Did you find the file alright?” Riza asked her fellow Lieutenants. </p><p>“Right here,” Havoc said as he handed over the folder. </p><p>“Wonderful, thank you. And Hayate?” </p><p>“Breda is still alive and I took him for a quick walk.” </p><p>“Thanks Havoc,” Riza said before she turned to follow Roy to their next meeting. </p><p>“I’ll be right back,” Havoc said, pulling the sweater out of his drawer once he was confident his superior officers were out of earshot. “I have an idea.” </p><p>/-/-/</p><p>Havoc knew that Rebecca Catalina often escaped to the shooting range when the General was in an important meeting. Sure enough, he found her in the last booth, deep in focus. </p><p>“Catalina!” </p><p>She didn’t bother to turn his way when she addressed him. “What is it now, Havoc?” </p><p>“Is that anyway to greet your favorite Lieutenant?” He ignored Rebecca’s snort. “Okay, so I have a question. Do you know who Hawkeye is seeing?” </p><p>This caught Rebecca’s attention and she finally turned around to meet his gaze. “Riza doesn’t date. I haven’t heard her talk about a man since… well since never.” </p><p>“I have it on good authority that she does,” Havoc smirked. “You should see the size of the hickey she’s sporting today.” </p><p>“What!” Rebecca said, eyes wide. “Seriously?!” </p><p>“It’s so dark she can’t even deny it. I had to stop by her apartment for an unrelated errand when she was in the budget meeting earlier and sure enough, two wine glasses were in her sink and I found this.” He held out the cashmere sweater. “It’s clearly not Riza’s. Any idea?” </p><p>Rebecca took the sweater from Havoc’s hand and held it out, examining it. After a minute she shook her head. “No. I have no idea.” </p><p>“I didn’t think so, but it was worth a shot. Don’t tell her I showed you this, okay?” </p><p>“Only if you tell me who it is once you figure it out. If you do. I highly doubt it, however. Riza is as tight lipped as they come.” </p><p>“Sounds like a deal.” </p><p>Weeks passed and Havoc came to a dead end on his brief hunt for the sweater’s owner. The garment stayed hidden in his lower desk drawer, out of sight and out of mind. Hawkeye made certain that the hickey was an anomaly. She gave no sign, positive or otherwise, that she continued to see her mystery man and any questions from Havoc were met with her quietly pulling out her gun and giving it a quick polish at her desk. </p><p>“I guess it’s time to admit defeat,” Havoc said as he pulled the sweater out of his desk drawer one evening. Hawkeye and Mustang were in a debriefing with Intelligence and he could finally sneak it out of the office undetected and forget about the entire thing. “Unless… Fuery…” </p><p>“For the tenth time, I am not bugging the Lieutenant’s apartment. That is not how I want to die.” </p><p>“Eh, it was worth asking,” Havoc shrugged, only half serious with his request.</p><p>“I don’t know why you thought this would work. There’s nothing special about the sweater,” Breda said. </p><p>Beside him, Falman nodded in agreement. “You’re so lucky Hawkeye never caught you.”</p><p>“I know, it just seemed too tempting an opportunity to pass up,” Havoc said. He bid Falman, Fuery and Breda a good night and turned to leave, the sweater in hand to remove any evidence. As he was headed out of the door, the Colonel’s phone rang. </p><p>“Can you get that while you’re up, Havoc?” Breda asked from. “I’m trying to finish this so I can leave in the next ten minutes.” </p><p>Havoc nodded and threw the sweater onto the couch in the Colonel’s sitting area. “Colonel Mustang’s office?” </p><p>It was Fullmetal. Havoc let Ed know that Roy was in a meeting and furiously took down a message on the notepad Hawkeye kept by the phone. </p><p>The office door opened as soon as the phone was back on its hanger. Roy and Riza walked in, a small pile of folders in each of their arms. </p><p>“Hey, chief,” Havoc said with a smile. “Perfect timing. Fullmetal just called.” He held out the notepad with Edward’s message. </p><p>“Oh, thanks Havoc,” Roy said as he headed over to grab the note. Before he reached Jean, he stopped for a moment, looking at the couch. He moved to pick up the sweater Havoc had thrown on the couch in his hurry to answer the phone. “Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for this. Where did you guys find my sweater?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone who has written a comment or left a kudos! These are so fun to write! Roy and Riza are pretty smart people so I've had to challenge myself to come up with semi-clever ways they would be exposed because knowing them, it would have to be something crazy and weird.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Double Interrogation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roy and Riza have an unwelcomed midnight visitor.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We interrupt our usual chaotic energy for a little hurt/comfort because out of all of my brainstorms involving Maes, this one just felt right.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey.” </p><p>If Roy was surprised by the unseen voice, he didn’t react. “You didn’t have to wait up for me.” </p><p>Riza shrugged from her seat at the couch. “Going back to the barracks didn’t sound so appealing.” </p><p>Roy nodded, despite knowing the truth. He had been out drinking with Maes, as he did every Friday night since their return from Ishval. Without fail, Riza was always awake when he returned to his apartment, cautiously ready to judge his emotional and physical state. “You really don’t have to wait up, Riza. When I promised not to drink myself into a stupor anymore, I meant it.”</p><p>They were both struggling to adjust to normal life. Their time in Ishval had left deep scars and the unprecedented challenge on how to return to anything resembling normalcy dominated their lives. In the six months since the end of the war- and four months since Riza accepted her position as Roy’s adjutant- they had channeled their emotions into three distinct methods of coping- shooting for Riza, drinking for Roy and indulging in each. </p><p>Roy knew, however, that both of his methods of coping were problematic at best. He should have never fallen back into bed with Riza, but once he had, he knew it would be impossible to give her up. He craved her and found that her presence alone was enough to chase away even his worst nightmares. To ease his mind, he justified their affair by constantly reminding himself that whatever there was between them was not one sided- she needed him too. </p><p>The drinking, however, had quickly spiraled out of control. After almost being arrested by military police for starting a bar fight, he had promised Riza to control himself. He kept his word, for both her sanity and to prove that her trust in him- for she never asked him to stop going out completely- was deserved. Even after proving he’d keep his word, she still waited up for him, just in case his demons resurfaced on his venture home.  </p><p>“Come to bed?” Roy asked. </p><p>“Sure,” Riza agreed as she got up off the couch and followed him into the bedroom. </p><p>They slid underneath the covers and Roy moved to pull Riza into his arms. She came willingly, tucking her head underneath his chin and entangling her legs with his own. </p><p>“Goodnight Roy,” Riza said with affection. </p><p>“Night, Riza.” He kissed the top of her head as she hummed with satisfaction. </p><p>The two had just drifted to sleep when a loud knock on Roy’s door jolted them abruptly awake. Before they had a chance to reach for their respective weapons, a familiar voice rang out. </p><p>“Roy! Roy! Are you up?” </p><p>“Ugh,” Roy groaned, sitting up. “It’s Hughes. What the hell is he doing here?” </p><p>Riza reluctantly opened her eyes. “He’s not going to go away until you answer.” </p><p>Knock, knock, knock. “Roy!” </p><p>“Give me a minute, Hughes!” Roy called out. He turned to Riza. “I’m going to see what he wants. Just hide in here, okay?” </p><p>Riza nodded at Roy as he exited the bedroom, closing the door behind him. </p><p>Roy opened the door to find Hughes still in his clothes from the bar. “What do you want, Hughes?”</p><p>“Can I stay the night with you? I locked myself out and no matter how hard I knock, Gracia won’t wake up. Our bedroom is on the second floor and you know she sleeps like the dead.” </p><p>Roy grimaced. “I can’t imagine how she couldn’t hear you. You’re so loud you could wake the dead.” </p><p>Hughes shrugged as he stumbled past Roy and into his living room. “I’ll take the couch.”</p><p>“No you won’t. Get out, Maes.” </p><p>“Oh come on, Roy. You won’t even notice I’m here.” Maes sat down and patted both his hands on the couch, perfectly content with his spot for the night. </p><p>“Maes, please,” Roy paused, debating his next move. He let out a sigh. With Hughes, the truth was always the best option and Roy didn’t need to reveal the entire truth, after all. “Hughes… you really can’t stay here. I have a girl over.” </p><p>“A girl? We left the bar less than an hour ago. When did you have time to pick up a girl?” </p><p>Roy looked over his shoulder to the closed bedroom door. “Well, to be honest, she was waiting for me to come home.” </p><p>“And you kept us out until last call? I knew you could be insensitive but...” </p><p>“Hughes this isn’t the time,” Roy said as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Look, I’ll call you a cab and give you money for a hotel since I’m kicking you out, okay?” </p><p>“I can’t believe you’re picking a girl over me!” Hughes said, as he drunkenly waived his arms in the air. </p><p>“Does it really surprise you?” </p><p>“Yes! We’re basically brothers. Do you think I really care if your booty call is over? Just try and be quiet.” </p><p>Roy groaned and closed his eyes. A sober Maes was as persistent as the ocean. A drunk Maes was an immovable rock. </p><p>“Please, Hughes… just this once can you cooperate? I’ll owe you. ” </p><p>“No! And while I’m at it, that girl should be thanking me. It would be kind of difficult to keep your dick hard if you had blown your brains out in Ishval like you planned, don’t you think?” </p><p>“Hughes,” Roy growled. “That’s not the point-”</p><p>“You were going to do what in Ishval?” </p><p>Both men turned to find Riza standing in the doorway, eyes wide with concern. She had pulled Roy’s robe over her cotton nightgown and her hair was still tousled from sleeping. There was no way Roy could possibly explain her presence as anything other than what it is, particularly after the details he had already provided to Hughes. </p><p>“Lieutenant Hawkeye?” Maes stuttered, growing pale as he realized what he had said. “Your Roy’s booty call?” </p><p>“Something like that.” Her voice was sharp, leaving no room for nonsense. </p><p>Roy stood there for a moment, his gaze going back and forth between his two biggest confidants. Both of them had just learned the biggest secret he kept from each of them. All at once. Together. </p><p>He needed another drink. </p><p>Riza’s lips were pursed together in deep disapproval. She glared at Roy, and then Hughes who was still gaping at the illicit couple from his seat on the couch. Roy swallowed audibly and turned to look at the floor. </p><p>Hughes spoke before Riza had the chance. “I can’t say I’m surprised to see you here, Hawkeye. I never believed Roy for a second when he denied having feelings for you.” </p><p>Riza sighed and tucked a lock of her short hair behind her ear. “You tried to kill yourself in Ishval?” she asked, giving no acknowledgement to Hughes’s words. Her gaze never left Roy’s direction. </p><p>“How about we make some tea and then Roy can properly answer all of our questions? He seems to have found himself in quite the predicament.” Hughes said. He knew Roy was overwhelmed with the sudden, dual confrontation. “Sounds good?” </p><p>Both Roy and Riza nodded. Riza headed towards the kitchen and began to make a pot of tea with enough familiarity for her surroundings to make Hughes raise an eyebrow. Clearly this was not a one-off thing between them. </p><p>“Chamomile,” she said as she poured them each a cup. “We don’t need caffeine at this hour.” </p><p>Roy nodded again and silently took the cup she offered. He sat down at the dining table and Hughes and Riza followed, sitting on the opposite side of the table facing him. He felt like a young child, about to be scolded by his parents. </p><p>“So, whose first?” Roy said, braving his first sentence since Riza had revealed herself. </p><p>Riza did not hesitate at her chance. “When did you try to kill yourself in Ishval?” </p><p>“It was before we ran into each other,” Roy said glumly. “I was at my lowest point. Hughes managed to stop me and I can honestly say I’ve never thought about doing it again. Well, not seriously anyway.”</p><p>“Why?” The single syllable projected a vast array of emotions. Riza’s worry, anger, fear, regret and hesitation were all laid out in one short breath. She noticed Roy was trembling and she reached across the table for his hand, gently taking it into her own. She ran her thumb across his knuckles in a sign of comfort and solidarity. “Why?” She asked again, her voice now soothing. </p><p>“We ran into an old academy buddy, Heathcliffe, who had been expelled for being Ishvalan. Hughes had to kill him when he attempted to kill me. The same day, I was ordered to burn down another village. It takes a toll on a man, you certainly know, but there is something extra miserable about being able to kill 500 people with one snap of your fingers.” </p><p>Riza pursed her lips. Yes, she knew how miserable it was to be a killer. Her own trauma with Ishval was part of the reason she had allowed the walls of professionalism surrounding Roy to come crumbling down- only a monster could deservedly comfort another monster- but sometimes she did forget that while she had killed hundreds, she had only been expected to kill one person at a time. Roy had wiped entire towns off the face of the earth in an instant. </p><p>“You were just doing what you had to do,” Riza said. </p><p>Hughes sat there in silence, watching the tender exchange between the two as Roy revealed his deepest secret. Their care and concern for each other lay illuminated on the table as Riza sought comfort in Roy’s explanation. </p><p>“I know that now,” Roy answered softly. “I have Hughes to thank for stopping me and helping through everything. Shortly after, we ran into you and I knew that staying alive was my only option. I can’t protect you if I’m dead. But you asked for the story so…” His voice trailed off.</p><p>Riza smiled softly, clearly satisfied with the answers he had provided. Roy then looked over at Hughes, readily waiting for the next question in this impromptu interrogation. </p><p>“My turn.” Hughes cleared his throat. “I’ll start with the obvious. How long has this”- he motioned between Roy and Riza- “been going on? And does anyone else know?” </p><p>Riza looked to Roy for his lead and was grateful when he took it. She did not let go of his hand. </p><p>“Not terribly long,” he admitted. “Few months.” </p><p>Hughes now turned to Riza. “Is this why you took the job as his adjutant?” </p><p>“No,” she answered honestly. “I hadn’t seen Roy in a month when I was summoned to his office.”</p><p>“So what is this thing between you two? A relationship? A fling? Some weird friends with benefits arrangement?” Hughes doubted it was the last option, but presented it to the guilty couple nonetheless. He was truly curious. Hughes knew Roy had feelings for Riza from the moment he met her in the desert. The way his best friend’s face fell when she revealed herself in Ishval was enough to give it away. Riza, however, had less of a tell and was appeared to be a total stickler for the rules. Hughes, a self-proclaimed people person, was genuinely surprised to find Riza had gone along with this affair. </p><p>From the table, Roy and Riza exchanged a glance that held within it an entire conversation. </p><p>“I’m not sure,” Roy said simply. “It started as comfort. To forget about Ishval. To take a break from feeling numb. Riza’s familiar. She’s both connected to the happy, innocent part of my life and able to understand and directly relate to the darkest, ugliest parts of me. We aren’t fucking just to fuck, Maes, but its almost better we don’t give it a label.” </p><p>Hughes understood. Their story was a complicated, tangled web and by refusing to give it a label, it protected them. Left them with a sense of propriety despite all the foolishness of their coupling. After all, it was easier to deny to others, easier to play the part, if they never acknowledged the love that was there. Hughes was all but certain that love was what this was. Whether they would realized it themselves was a different story. </p><p>“I won’t tell anyone. Not even Gracia,” Hughes said after a while. He watched as both Roy and Riza seemed to let out a breath they did not know they were holding, their shoulders instantly sagging with relief. “Just promise me that you will be smart about this. You two deserve a little happiness, no matter how much you try and deny it. I’ll always be here to protect you however I can- even after I transfer to Central in July.” </p><p>“Thank you, Maes.” Riza’s voice was small but full of intention. “For everything you’ve done for Roy.” </p><p>“No need to thank me. I haven’t done anything he wouldn’t do for me.” Maes took a sip of his tea before looking over at the clock. “I think it’s about time I go to sleep. I’m starting to sober up and if I’m not asleep by the time my hangover hits, I’ll be unbearably irritable tomorrow and I can’t do that to my darling Gracia. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch.” </p><p>This time, Roy did not protest as his best friend settled himself in the living room. </p><p>“I should be going,” Riza said, trying to reestablish any amount of professionalism she could. </p><p>“Oh no you won’t,” Maes said across the room, throwing her off guard. “Sneaking back into the barracks at 3am isn’t a good look for you, Lieutenant.” </p><p>Riza frowned, knowing that Maes was correct. Nevertheless, openly joining Roy in his bed, in front of his best friend, was far beyond any realm of comfort. </p><p>“Riza, go lay down. It’s okay,” Roy said, as if reading her mind. “Cats out of the bag, so we may as well get as good of sleep as we can.” </p><p>“I guess you’re right.” Riza nodded, relenting as she headed back into the bedroom. </p><p>Roy then turned to Maes once he was certain Riza was out of earshot.  “Don’t judge her too much. If anything, judge me. I’m her superior. I should know better.” </p><p>“Judge you? Why would I judge you?” Hughes seemed genuinely surprised at Roy’s plea. “You deserve to be happy too, Roy.” </p><p>“Yes but we are still breaking the law. Happiness or not, that’s a fact.” </p><p>“It may be,” Hughes said, thoughtfully putting his hand on his chin. “But if everyone followed the rules, nothing would ever change.” Roy knew exactly what Hughes was implying, but his best friend continued before he had a chance to reply. “Besides, if anything this should just be more of an incentive to climb to the top as quickly as possible.” </p><p>“Oh?” </p><p>“After all, every Fuhrer needs a wife. Hurry up and make it to the top so you can go get yours.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the last of the original 4 one-shots I had written before I started the series. Other than Ed and Al, who else should I write about? </p><p>Hope you liked it and thanks for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Codename: Elizabeth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rebecca Catalina has enough evidence to prove once and for all how much of a sleazeball her best friend's boss is... or so she thinks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope everyone has a safe holiday! Here's to a better 2021.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Your boss is a pervert.” </p><p>Riza raised an eyebrow as she pulled out her chair to join Rebecca at the small table. “He is?” </p><p>“Yes, he is,” Rebecca said, scrunching her nose in disgust. </p><p>“Care to elaborate?” Riza asked dryly.</p><p>They were in Central, having accompanied their respective bosses to the annual defense conference for the week. Still dressed in full uniform, the two were meeting for a quick lunch at their favorite .</p><p>“I overheard your boss discussing his plans with a-” clearly uncomfortable, Rebecca cleared her throat, - “with a… um a lady of the night if you will.” </p><p>Riza took a sip of the tea their server had just delivered as she analyzed Rebecca’s expression. Deciding to remain neutral in tone, she inquired for more information. “How and why were you in a position to overhear something like that? General Grumman hasn’t asked you to spy on the Colonel, has he?” </p><p>“What? God no!” Rebecca screeched, clearly offended by the accusation. “If you must know, I ran into him at a hostess bar last night.”</p><p>“You went to a hostess bar? One with ladies of the night? Now you sound like the pervert.” </p><p>Rebecca sighed. She knew there was no way to get out of this predicament without telling the truth and she refused to allow Riza to go a minute longer thinking that she sought the company of ladies of the night. </p><p>“If you must know, I was running an errand for the General.” </p><p>Riza scrunched her nose in disgust. “Why does that sound so much worse? What could he possibly have asked you to do at a brothel, of all places.” </p><p>“I guess Grumman is an old friend of the Madame. He couldn’t get away last night and asked that I drop off an envelope of money, something about owing her a favor. As I was sitting at the bar, your sleazy boss decided to show up and all the girls just flocked to him like he was the hottest thing since sliced bread. It was disgusting, really.” </p><p>Though Rebecca had never specified, Riza was certain she knew the exact establishment in question. </p><p>The Colonel was a man obsessed with reputation and fixated on impressions. The upper brass would think him lazy, unmotivated and sloppy, with an appetite for women and a habit of coasting through the workday. Only a select, handpicked few were privy to the cunning, caring and revolutionary genius that lay underneath his meticulously controlled reputation. </p><p>Even fewer knew of his true connection to Chris Mustang and her brilliantly crafted spy network. To a casual observer, Mustang’s visit to the brothel would only further support his debauched, womanizing habits. To the privileged insider, Roy had gone to collect valuable information- perhaps the same information Grumman had sent Rebecca to unknowingly pay for. </p><p>For one reason or another, Grumman had decided against informing his assistant about the classified inner workings of the brothel, sending her on an errand for a “favor”. Riza internally sighed. If Rebecca thought it was a mere hostess bar, then a bar it would be. </p><p>“Rebecca, I’m only paid to babysit him during work hours. I don’t care what he does outside of that.”</p><p>“I don’t know how you’re so devoted to a sleazeball,” Rebecca said, making no intention to hide her disgust. “How do you work under him?”</p><p>“The same way you work under the General.”</p><p>Rebecca chewed the inside of her lip, clearly bested. With a resounding shake of her head, she dropped the conversation, deciding to use the rest of lunch to press Riza for any developments in her stale personal life. </p><p>/-/-/ </p><p>“Catalina!” Grumman said as he summoned her into his makeshift office. “I need you to bring this letter to the same Madame you visited yesterday.”</p><p>Rebecca raised her eyebrow, but took the envelope. “Another favor, General?”</p><p>“Oh no. This is an invitation to dinner on Friday before we head back to East City. Sending this with a messenger is the best way to keep a low profile. I don’t need the Central brass knowing everything about me. Please make sure you hand it directly to the Madame.” </p><p>Later that evening, Rebecca found herself begrudgingly back at the same bar. The bar opened at nine, but to avoid suspicion, she arrived a bit after ten and took a seat at the counter. </p><p>“Anything to drink, dear?” The bartender asked. </p><p>“Vodka soda please,” Rebecca answered. “Additionally, I need to see the Madame. I have something to give her from Betty.” </p><p>Betty was Grumman’s late wife and, apparently, the codename he and the madame established between them so no one would know he had friends in such salacious establishments. </p><p>“Of course,” the bartender said with a wink. She disappeared to a back room before returning with Rebecca’s drink. “The Madame is taking an important phone call, but will be out shortly. Can I get you anything else while you wait?” </p><p>Rebecca shook her head. “No, I’ll be right here whenever she’s done.” </p><p>The bartender nodded and moved to serve the other customers that were now crowding the bar. Rebecca quietly sat in her chair, enjoying her drink, before a familiar voice rang out. </p><p>“Hi Caroline, how’s business tonight?” </p><p>“So far so good, but it’s still early,” the bartender answered. “What will it be tonight Roy? The usual?” </p><p>“Yes, please.” </p><p>Rebecca watched as Mustang took a sip of his drink, her mouth opened in disgust that he would spend two nights in a row at a brothel. </p><p>“Keep my tab open, please,” he said to Caroline. </p><p>“Of course. Are you waiting for Elizabeth? Madame had Vanessa prepare your usual room.” </p><p>“Yes, but I’m honestly surprised I beat her here. Have you seen her?” </p><p>“No, but I can check with the other girls if you like.” </p><p>“No, not yet. I’ll have a drink or two first. Give her time.” </p><p>“Always the gentlemen,” Caroline giggled as she began to polish a few glasses behind the bar. “You need to visit us more, you know. And not just when you're trying to spend some private time with Elizabeth.” </p><p>Rebecca frowned into her drink, focused on keeping her head down. Luckily, Roy was so absorbed with his conversation that he had not noticed her a few spots down the bar from where he sat. </p><p>She now knew why he had come to the bar two nights in a row. </p><p>Apparently, Roy had a favorite escort, this woman named Elizabeth. Rebecca had overheard his inquiry of her the night before as well, before one of the girls had shown him out of the main bar area and out of sight. Rebecca frowned. Poor Riza and her blind, unwavering devotion to the Colonel. Her heart would break if she found out. </p><p>“Oh hush, Caroline. I visit enough,” Roy said, breaking Rebecca from her thoughts.</p><p>“No you don’t. Not without Elizabeth,” she giggled. “But I get it. You're in love. Why spend time with me when you can kiss her and talk about having all these cute babies-”</p><p>“Caroline,” Roy growled dangerously. “That’s enough. I don’t need you ruining my reputation with your crazy imagination.” </p><p>Rebecca had to hold in a snort. Ruin his reputation? Being in love with a prostitute from Central only further solidified his ridiculous, over-sexed reputation. </p><p>“Whatever, Roy. You better buy her a ring before someone else does. That’s all I’m saying.” </p><p>Before Rebecca could hear Roy’s reply, her name sounded out from the opposite end of the bar. </p><p>“Catalina.” </p><p>Rebecca looked up to find the Madame standing in front of her. She moved to pull out the letter from her coat when the Madame reached across the countertop to stop her. </p><p>“How about you come with me so we can talk in private?” </p><p>Confused, Rebecca willingly obliged. She followed the Madame into a small office where she took a seat on a small leather couch. </p><p>“What does the old man have for me today?” the Madame asked as she lit a cigarette. She reached out and grabbed the offered letter, reading it quickly, before turning her attention back to Rebecca. </p><p>“Tell him Friday at 7:30 works just fine for me.” The Madame then turned around and pulled out a small, white folder. “I’m guessing from your bewildered expression, Grumman hasn’t told you much about this place?” </p><p>“Um, no?” Rebecca answered. What else was there to know about a brothel?</p><p>“Then I’ll tell you the basics. He must trust you if he’s sent you twice and there’s no room for total ignorance in my house. I have a lot of friends and a lot of connections. Sometimes, the General calls in a favor.” The Madam took a long drag of her cigarette as she handed Rebecca the folder. It was sealed shut. “This here is one of the favors. I need you to make sure to give it to him directly when he’s alone. No handing it off to any clerical staff, no presenting this to him in public, understand?” </p><p>“Yes ma’am,” Rebecca answered. Now it was beginning to make sense why Grumman was so insistent on Rebecca serving as a runner to eliminate any records or paper trails between the two. </p><p>“Good. I’m sure he will send you back tomorrow if he can’t wait until our dinner, so let me get one of the girls to show you the back entrance. It will be easier for you to come in that way and save you from being labeled as a regular. One of my girls is always around back here. Just let her know Betty sent you, as usual, and they’ll find me.” </p><p>Rebecca nodded. “Thank you, Madame.” </p><p>“Please, call me Christmas,” Christmas said as she poked her head outside the office. “Vanessa!” </p><p>Moments later, a thin, curly-haired brunette walked in. “Yes, Madam?” </p><p>“Can you please show Ms. Catalina the back entrance. She’s Grumman’s new runner and I want her to know her way around.” </p><p>“Of course!” </p><p>“It was nice chatting with you, Catalina,” Christmas said as Rebecca followed Vanessa out the door. </p><p>“So this is the back way,” Vanessa said as she led Rebecca down a hallway full of doors, suggestive sounds occasionally emitting from behind one. </p><p>“How long has the Madame been set up here?” </p><p>“Oh a long time. I’ve worked here ten years and it was established well before then.” Vanessa stopped at one of the doors. “This one, the third door from the right if you’re counting from the end of the hall, leads to the stairwell and the alley.” </p><p>Vanessa opened the door only to find another person on the other side, arm outstretched for the doorknob. </p><p>Rebecca’s eyes shot wide as she immediately recognized who was standing there dressed in full civilian clothes. </p><p>“Took you long enough!” Vanessa said before Rebecca had a chance to gather her thoughts. “He’s been at the bar complaining to poor Caroline for an hour when he heard you were running late.” </p><p>“Oh, yes, well,” Riza said, visibly struggling to compose herself at the sight of her best friend. </p><p>For her part, Rebecca just stood there, lost to why Riza would possibly be sneaking through the back alley way of a brothel. </p><p>“You can just head to the usual room. I cleaned it up earlier. Let me show this lovely lady out and I’ll let him know you’re here, Elizabeth.” </p><p>“Elizabeth?” At the sound of her cover name, everything clicked into place for Rebecca. There was no need for Vanessa or Riza to confirm who the man Riza was here to meet was. Rebecca Catalina already knew. “Elizabeth?” </p><p>“It’s just a codename, Rebecca,” Riza started softly, her words shaking as she attempted to create a cover up, unaware that any chance Riza had to talk her way out of this was long gone. </p><p>“Do you two know each other?” Vanessa asked, her turn to be confused. </p><p>“I’m her best friend,” Rebecca replied. “At least I thought I was. There I was, sitting at the bar, listening to Colonel Dickhead being teased by the bartender about how much he loved this Elizabeth. I was getting so mad on your behalf that he was in love with a prostitute from Central instead of you, no offense” -she looked apologetically at Vanessa- “but lo and behold how wrong I was. Elizabeth.” </p><p>A thick tension filled the air and Riza averted her eyes, clearly ashamed. Vanessa rocked side to side, fully knowing that somehow, somewhere, she had messed up, exposing her brother’s long-kept secret. </p><p>“Please, Rebecca, dont,” Riza finally said. “Not tonight. Not here.” </p><p>“That asshole can’t possibly be worth it. He has you sneaking in through the back door of a brothel.” </p><p>“It’s technically a hostess bar with a side business, but yes he is worth it.” With each word Riza’s voice grew stronger and more confident. She took a deep breath, deciding that a full, unapologetic summary would best appease Rebecca before her best friend decided to create a scene. “Look, Becca, I’ve known Roy since we were teenagers. I’ve loved him for almost as long. The dates, the flirting, it’s all a cover. Most of the women he takes out are women from the brothel. He grew up here. Christmas is his aunt. That’s why we meet here and why everyone lies to help protect us. It’s one of the few places we can safely sneak away and have a moment to ourselves. I’m sorry you found out this way but no one outside these walls knows and I need you to promise me you’ll keep it that way.” </p><p>Rebecca was silent for a moment, processing the onslaught of information. “Does he at least treat you right?” </p><p>“Of course. I would have shot him if he didn’t,” Riza said with a playful smile. She then turned to Vanessa. “This wasn’t your fault, Vanessa. You never named Roy. If it was anyone other than Rebecca, they would have never figured it out.” </p><p>Vanessa nodded in understanding. “I’m happy to hear you’re not mad at me. I hope Roy-boy won’t be either.” </p><p>“He won’t because we aren’t going to tell him,” Riza said firmly. She gave Rebecca a desperate look. “Please?” </p><p>Rebecca sighed, relenting. “Fine. Just promise me that if he’s ever a dick, you let me know so I can give him a piece of my mind.” </p><p>“You already do.” </p><p>“I’m still not happy with you for lying to me all these years. You could have saved yourself so many blind dates if you had just told me the truth. I mean, I get why you didn’t say anything, but it’s me, Riza. And you sure as hell have a ton of questions to answer. I’m not letting you get off so easily. But I guess we can wait until another time if your man is waiting for you.” Rebecca’s voice transitioned into a tease at the end. “Who knew straight laced Riza Hawkeye would be her commanding officer’s dirty little secret.” </p><p>“Rebecca!” Riza admonished, though her tone was only half serious. Internally, she was grateful that Rebecca was willing to shelve her interrogation for another time. Riza gave her a grateful hug before turning to move past Vanessa and Rebecca and down the hall. The two stood there watching her walk away for a moment before Rebecca called out. </p><p>“Go get him, Elizabeth!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Question for fellow authors. Do you show people in your real life your work? Or talk about it? I’m so curious!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Meet Me at the Hotel Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Riza books a hotel room with two beds and Roy is far from amused. So are Ed and Al.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow did writer's block get the best of me this past month. I'm still not fully satisfied with this, but after four different drafts, it's clear this is the best this story is going to get. Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Reservations for Hawkeye.” </p>
<p>“Welcome Miss Hawkeye,” the hotel receptionist said with a quaint smile. “I see we have you down for two nights in our corner suite.” </p>
<p>“Yes that’s correct,” Riza replied. </p>
<p>“Perfect. How many keys will you be needing? The room has two queen beds and sleeps up to four,” the receptionist asked. </p>
<p>“Just two for now,” Riza answered. </p>
<p>“Wonderful. Here are your keys. You’ll be in room 32A just up the stairs and down the hall to the left.” The receptionist held out two room keys for Riza to take. “Enjoy your stay in Mebbo.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, we will,” Riza replied politely. She turned and walked over to where her companion was standing with their luggage, a large frown consuming his face. “All checked in. Let’s go freshen up.” </p>
<p>Thankfully, Roy waited until they were inside their hotel room before he began to air his grievances. </p>
<p>“Seriously, Riza? Two beds?” </p>
<p>The hotel was quaint, as upscale as upscale could get this far north without being in a major city. The room had a spectacular view, an oversized bathtub and, to Roy’s utter dismay, two queen beds, covered in pillows and large down blankets to soothe each guest from the cold. </p>
<p>“Oh hush. You know as well as I do that I’ll be sleeping right beside you all weekend. It’s merely for appearances,” Riza answered as she opened the closet. Ever the organized soldier, she found two luggage racks and neatly placed both of their suitcases on one before closing the closet door.  </p>
<p>“Still,” Roy complained. “Two beds mean each bed is smaller. And a smaller bed means less room for activities.” He reached out and grabbed Riza’s wrist, yanking her into his lap. “Adult activities, Riza. Fun, naked activities.” </p>
<p>To her credit, Riza remained unphased, raising a single eyebrow in response. </p>
<p>“Come on, Ri. This is our first leave together where one of us is not recovering from a crippling injury. We have a legitimate story for why we are up North. No one here recognizes us, especially in our civilian clothes. We could have gone with one bed.” </p>
<p>“No we couldn’t. We are here to meet Edward and Alphonse. I don’t need them seeing anything improper.” </p>
<p>“Improper? We’re not going to be fucking in front of them Riza. They won’t even be walking into this hotel room! Besides, they're not little kids anymore.” Roy said as he wrapped his arms tighter around Riza’s frame. </p>
<p>Riza did not react to Roy’s insistent embrace. Instead, she said, “they’re not quite adults either. Edward’s only 17. I’m not changing my mind. Besides, now if we need to invite them into the hotel room, we can.” </p>
<p>Roy frowned for a moment longer before relenting. “Fine. But next time, I’ll make the reservations. Speaking of which, did you book the Elric’s a room?” </p>
<p>Riza nodded. “Edward wasn’t sure if they would make it today or tomorrow, so I paid for tomorrow night in advance. I figured if they showed up today, we could just submit the hotel room with the next expense report.” </p>
<p>“Okay, maybe there is a reason you handle the reservations,” Roy said softly as his chin rested on Riza’s shoulder. “I’m still not okay with the two beds, though.” </p>
<p>Riza ran a loving hand through his hair and down his face, capturing his chin and forcing his gaze in her directions. Planting a deep kiss on his lips, she smiled softly. “We will still enjoy the weekend. Edward highly anticipated not arriving until tomorrow, which means we have all night to ourselves.” </p>
<p>“I like the sound of that,” Roy said with a grin. He laid back onto the bed, pulling Riza with him, as he captured her mouth. She groaned into him and slowly began to unbutton the top buttons of his shirt. Roy, quickly mirrored the gesture. </p>
<p>Suddenly, a deep grumble interrupted the pair. </p>
<p>“Someone’s starving,” Riza said, sitting up without a moment's hesitation. “Come on, let’s go get dinner. We have plenty of time for fun later and hangry is not a good mood for you.” </p>
<p>/-/-/</p>
<p>“It’s so nice of the General and Captain to meet us here,” Alphonse said merrily.</p>
<p>Beside him, Edward merely shrugged. “They know you’re headed to Drachma. Going to Central would add another two days to our journey, and frankly, it’s the least the bastard could do for us. Do you see the hotel anywhere?” </p>
<p>Edward and Alphonse were walking down the cobblestone road of the small city, fresh from the train station. </p>
<p>“It was so nice of the Captain to arrange for our hotel rooms,” Al said with a smile. “And we made such great travel time! Look, I see the hotel up ahead, brother!” </p>
<p>The two brothers entered the hotel lobby, grateful for the reprieve from the cold. Edward approached the reservation desk first. </p>
<p>“Reservation for Elric.”  </p>
<p>The front desk agent scanned her books, eyebrows furrowed together. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anything on the books for tonight under Elric.” </p>
<p>“Oh,” Ed said, before remembering who had made the reservation. “It may be under Hawkeye. Riza Hawkeye.” </p>
<p>“Ah, yes,” the woman said with a smile. “They have already checked in. Let me get you the last room keys.” The woman stepped away from the front desk for a moment, returning with two kets. “You have a corner suite with two queen beds. 32A just up the stairs and to your left.” </p>
<p>Ed and Al thanked the woman before heading towards the hotel stairs. </p>
<p>“How thoughtful, the Captain reserved a bed for each of us,” Alphonse said as they reached their hotel room. It was empty, the bed sheets still freshly made up from the earlier maid service. </p>
<p>The two entered and each boy quickly plopped down on one of the beds, tired from a long day’s travel. Their suitcases were haphazardly thrown into the far corner of the room. </p>
<p>“I wonder where the General and the Captain are,” Edward said. He was laying spread eagle across the bed closest to the window, relishing the elevated comfort of the mattress. For all his flaws, Mustang sure did know how to travel in style. This was much nicer than any hotel Ed had stayed at during his recent travels, especially after losing his research grant from the government when he had to turn in his state alchemist watch. “The receptionist said that they had already checked in.” </p>
<p>“Why don’t we order some room service and ask the concierge about them once we’ve eaten?” Alphonse suggested. </p>
<p>“Sounds like a plan,” Edward said as he eagerly opened up the room service menu sitting on the nightstand between the two beds. “Dinner’s on Mustang! Let’s order one of everything.” </p>
<p>/-/-/</p>
<p>“Dinner was lovely,” Riza sighed as she and Roy exited the small cafe down the street from their hotel. “Thank you.” </p>
<p>“You don’t have to thank me every time I buy you dinner, Riza,” Roy said with a smile. “Frankly, I don’t have the chance to do it as often as I’d like.” </p>
<p>“I know,” Riza said. “I’m still grateful. And now we can go back to the hotel and have some… fun.” Her voice shifted tones, growing smooth and seductive at the last word. If they weren’t in the middle of the street, she would have reached out and grabbed him by the collar to pull him close. </p>
<p>“That’s my kind of dessert,” Roy said, looking at Riza and licking his lips. </p>
<p>“I hope you packed plenty of condoms,” Riza said as she affectionately tapped Roy on the nose. “You’ll need them for what I have planned.” </p>
<p>Roy’s face fell. </p>
<p>“Roy! How could you forget! Seriously, do I have to do everything around here? I gave you that responsibility because I figured that if you would remember anything, condoms would be it!” </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Roy sighed, clearly embarrassed. “Look, I’ll just stop at the pharmacy. I saw one on my way here.” </p>
<p>“I probably shouldn’t go with you,” Riza reasoned. “We may have more freedom here to be out in the open, but openly buying condoms with my commanding officer is where I draw the line. I’ll meet you back at the hotel.” </p>
<p>Roy rolled his eyes, but accepted Riza’s decision, knowing he had messed up. </p>
<p>“Fine.” </p>
<p>“Besides,” Riza whispered into Roy’s ear as she pulled him in for a quick hug. “Now I can go and get all dressed up, so take your time. I brought a little surprise.” </p>
<p>“God, I love you,” Roy said, a clear smirk on his face as he pulled out of their embrace. “I’ll see you in twenty minutes.” </p>
<p>Riza stood on the sidewalk for a moment as she watched Roy enter the pharmacy before turning to carry on down the road and to the hotel. Enjoying the atmosphere of the sleepy, winter town, Riza took her time strolling down the cobblestone. She made it less than a block when a certain shop caught her eye- an antique book shop, larger and more welcoming than any she knew in East City. If she were a less reserved woman, she would have jumped with joy. </p>
<p>Sex was great, but it was nothing like the discovery of a first-edition classic. Roy would understand if she was a little late, Riza reasoned as she entered the store. A quick look around never hurt anyone. </p>
<p>/-/-/</p>
<p>If Alphonse hadn’t been there to act as a voice of reason, Edward would have ordered everything on the room service menu. After much debate, they settled on sharing five entrees and, once the food had arrived, began to devour it as though they hadn’t eaten in months. </p>
<p>The door creaked open and Al and Ed turned, startled at the unexpected visitor. </p>
<p>“Hey Riza! They only had the condoms with the little grooves on them. I hope that’s al-” Roy froze instantly. </p>
<p>Across from him, Ed and Al sat as still as stone, food still half-chewed in their mouths and faces burning bright red. </p>
<p>“I mean, I-” Roy could feel the sweat beads rolling down his face. “That Captain isn’t here?”</p>
<p>Frozen, Ed was unable to react. Beside him, Al shook his head violently. </p>
<p>“Oh wow, this is awkward.” </p>
<p>“You- you-” Edward finally stammered, his face red. “And the Lieutenant-”</p>
<p>“It’s Captain.” All three men turned to find Riza standing in the doorway, a small pile of books in her arms. Her gaze traveled from Roy’s to the two boys, their extravagant dinner sprawled along both beds. She turned to Roy, eyes narrowed. “Why do they look traumatized? What did you do?” </p>
<p>“I- I-” If Roy was any more embarrassed, he would have spontaneously combusted. A fitting end, he thought to himself before taking a deep breath. “Oh, you know. I walked in and announced the only condoms available were ribbed.” </p>
<p>Riza simply nodded, absorbing his words. She then turned to Edward. “Who gave you the key to this hotel room?”</p>
<p>“Um… the receptionist?” Ed answered as though it was a trick question. </p>
<p>“I see what happened here. This room sleeps four and I forgot to specify it was only for two. She must have assumed you were staying with us,” Riza reasoned. </p>
<p>“See, this is why we should have gotten a single bed,” Roy answered. </p>
<p>“Really, you’re really bringing that up now?” Riza spat. “One more word and I’ll leave you here to do all the explaining by yourself.” </p>
<p>Roy’s lips snapped shut instantly. </p>
<p>“Well, this is unfortunate,” Riza said after a while. “I can’t come up with a decent excuse if I wanted too and you boys have proven to be trustworthy. The General and I have been secretly seeing each other for a while now.” </p>
<p>Ed’s eyes bugged at Riza’s confirmation. “What? Why him? What could someone like you have to do with him!” </p>
<p>“Hey!” Roy yelled before Riza shut him up with a glare. </p>
<p>“I love him, Edward. That should be enough of an explanation.” </p>
<p>“But- but- he’s an asshole!”</p>
<p>“Yes, but he’s my asshole.” </p>
<p>It then occurred to Edward that Alphonse had not spoken a word since Riza’s arrival. He turned to find his brother calmly sitting on the bed, eye’s full of acknowledgement. </p>
<p>“You knew!” Edward screeched, pointing an accusing finger at Al. </p>
<p>Al shrugged. “I suspected. I’ve suspected for a while, actually since that day down in the-” </p>
<p>“Fifth laboratory-” Riza finished for him. “You have always been an observant one, Alphonse.” </p>
<p>“To be fair, Captain, you made it obvious. People don’t just give up on their will to live like that unless they are in love.” </p>
<p>Riza’s silence was enough of a confirmation. </p>
<p>“Then why do you follow him?” Ed asked, his sense of reason returning. “You can’t openly be together if you are in the military.” </p>
<p>“We still have goals to accomplish,” Roy answered. </p>
<p>“Goals that I am willing to dedicate my life to see through,” Riza said. </p>
<p>“The General becoming Fuhrer?” </p>
<p>“Yes, so you must understand why you can’t tell anyone about us.” </p>
<p>“I would never,” Ed said almost too quickly. “I question your taste in men, Captain, but I would never question you.” </p>
<p>“Thank you boys,” Riza answered with a smile. She turned to Roy, who was still unsure on what to do next. “I think, for now, it may be best to let them finish their meal.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, why don’t we see if the hotel has another room available. This time with only one bed.”<br/>

The soldiers soon left the room. Once the two brothers were alone, Alphonse awkwardly cleared his throat.<br/>

“So, who’s going to tell them they left their box of condoms here?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Rumors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everyone cares about rumors. Everyone but Olivier Armstrong...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Almost three months later and here's the final chapter! I hope you enjoy it. This went through many transformations. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the most part, Olivier Armstrong was happy to have been born a member of status. </p><p>To many, the rigid General seemed like a natural outcast to high society, but in truth, there was nothing more that Olivier liked than to proudly remind other people that she was an Armstrong. The superior Armstrong, at that rate. </p><p>Still, there were obvious downsides to being born wealthy, including the ridiculous social events Olivier was occasionally forced to attend. Before, when she was originally stationed in Briggs, they were easier to worm her way out of. Drachma was always calling, after all. Constant vigilance was the only way to ensure success. </p><p>Olivier had been to plenty of balls and galas in her youth. Her mother, unable to accept that her daughter had no desire to be a debutant, had dragged her to countless parties throughout her formative years. They were always the same. Drunk widows eyeing the newest barely-legal, rowdy men of status- smoking cigars and trying to out-do each other for no apparent reason- and dozens of young women clustering in corners, eagerly gossiping about everyone and everything. </p><p>No, Olivier most certainly hated galas. </p><p>Currently, Olivier had been stationed in Central for the better part of the year. When Grumman had succeeded in becoming Fuhrer (the arrogant bastard- always managing to get his way at the last minute) she had begrudgingly accepted that helping to rebuild the nation would require her to frequent the capital more often than she’d like. Now, with a week left of Grumman’s regime, she was partially glad she would soon find herself allowed to peacefully pass her time up at Briggs for months at a time undisturbed.  </p><p>When Mustang became Fuhrer, he could kiss her ass. Nothing sort of a miracle or nuclear war would have her venturing into Central and certainly nothing as silly as a gala.</p><p>But that was next week. Now, she still had a part to play: Major-General Armstrong. </p><p>So naturally, there she was, suited up in her dress blues (the day she wore a dress was the day Alex grew a full head of air), wandering around the Fuhrer’s Estate for the last charity benefit of his regime. </p><p>“Enjoying yourself?” </p><p>Olivier looked to her left to find her sister Catherine smiling eagerly. As one of the Fuhrer’s loyal benefactors, the entire family had been invited to the occasion and, now that she was of proper age, this included the youngest daughter. Unlike Olivier, Catherine was thrilled to be here. It wasn’t her fault. It was her first presidential gala so she didn’t know the sheer and utter bullshit happening around every corner. </p><p>“Why don’t you go find that General who gets under your skin so much?” Catherine giggled. </p><p>“And why would I go do such a stupid thing like that?” </p><p>“I don’t know. Assert your dominance, or whatever. He’ll be Fuhrer next week. Gotta do it while you can.” </p><p>Olivier raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“Oh, stop, Olivier, you know I don’t mean it like that. Besides, the rumor on the street is that Mustang’s having an affair with the Fuhrer’s granddaughter. I’m practically handling you ammo for the gun.” </p><p>Dumb little Catherine, Olivier instantly thought. Always so eager to gossip. </p><p>Then, Olivier’s brain processed exactly what had been said. “The Fuhrer doesn’t have a granddaughter.” </p><p>“That’s what the word around town is. You hate the General so much, I thought I’d let you know so you could go rub it in his face and make him feel uncomfortable. I know you never listen to gossip.”</p><p>“Are you sure the girls you are listening to aren’t more drunk than you think? The old man has never mentioned a child, let alone a granddaughter.” </p><p>“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Catherine said simply. “Okay, well enjoy the rest of the party, sister!” </p><p>Olivier only got to enjoy a few moments of peace before a voice boomed from behind her. </p><p>“Dearest sister! Are you enjoying the party?” </p><p>“Alex.” There was no sense of emotion behind the syllable. </p><p>“Olivier,” he replied, unphased by his sister’s blunt greeting. “Providing Catherine with riveting social advice, I see!” </p><p>“Not really, the silly girl is getting swept into societal gossip.” </p><p>“What lovely words are being spread across the populace?” Alex asked, so genuinely if it was anyone else, Olivier would have been immediately suspicious. </p><p>She paused for a moment, before realizing that, for once, this gossip may be useful. </p><p>“Apparently the Fuhrer has a granddaughter. Ever heard of her?” </p><p>“Ah yes. Grumman’s granddaughter,” Alex supplied. “She’s been the talk of the town all evening, but I guess she doesn’t like to come to military functions. Grew up in some small town in the Eastern outskirts so Grumman allows her to miss these functions. Or so the rumors say.” </p><p>Olivier had to physically stop herself from snorting. </p><p>“No, his granddaughter exists,” Alex insisted. “I’m certain of it. Why else would everyone be talking about it?” </p><p>“Because they have nothing else to do with their miserable lives,” Olivier retorted. </p><p>“Whose miserable?” </p><p>Olivier turned to find Lieutenant-Colonel Miles standing behind her, champagne flute held out. </p><p>Without hesitation, Olivier accepted the drink, throwing it back in two large gulps before wiping her mouth on the back of her hand and returning the empty flute to her subordinate.</p><p> “The rich.” </p><p>“We were talking about the Fuhrer’s secret granddaughter,” Alex said before Olivier could stop him. “Supposedly she’s here tonight.” </p><p>“Ah, yes I’ve heard that,” Miles said with a nod. “The one who supposedly tamed the infamous womanizing Flame Alchemist. She must be quite the lady.” </p><p>“If she’s even real.” </p><p>“Someone’s extra hostile.” </p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?” Olivier snapped. “If she is real, it’s only further proof of how much of a brown nose Mustang is. Dating the Fuhrer’s granddaughter. Doubt there aren’t motives behind that.” </p><p>“Dearest sister! Don’t think such terrible things! Mustang is a man of honor!” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Olivier said with a wave of her hand. “I’m going to go find the restroom. See you gentlemen later.” </p><p>She turned, leaving Miles at the mercy of her brother. He’s dealt with worse, she rationalized to herself. </p><p>“General Armstrong?” </p><p>She turned, not fully recognizing the voice. </p><p>The young man must have sensed her hesitation. “It’s Alphonse. Alphonse Elric.” </p><p>Alphonse was a man now, broad shoulders and a warm face accented with a strong jawline. His eyes were bright and he looked utterly, utterly full of life. </p><p>“Alphonse? You’re looking healthier than ever. I’m happy to see it.” She meant every word. Even the Ice Queen herself could not help but smile widely at the sight of his healthy, well-built body. </p><p>“Thank you, General!” His smile reached his ears. </p><p>“Is Edward here as well?” </p><p>Alphonse shook his head, a small frown ghosting his face. “He wishes. General Mustang invited both of us for the inauguration but Winry’s due any day now with their third child and they both decided it was best to stay close to home.” </p><p>“Third child? They must be insane.” </p><p>“They are a little. But also insanely happy,” Alphonse laughed. “Not everyone can be married to their careers, no matter how admirable. Still, I hope she has the baby on time. I wouldn’t want them to miss both the inauguration and the wedding.” </p><p>“Wedding? You’re getting married?”</p><p>Dear lord, am I getting old, Olivier thought to herself. </p><p>Alphonse flushed a deep shade of crimson. “What! Me! No! I’m not there yet! I assumed you were invited…” </p><p>Olivier took a chance. “To Mustang’s wedding?” </p><p>She could feel the relief wash across the young man’s body. His posture relaxed and he let out a telling breath of air. “Yes. Wow for a second there I thought I was in serious trouble.” </p><p>“Of course, I know about Mustang’s marriage to the Fuhrer’s granddaughter. I am a general.” </p><p>Olivier was talented at many things and lying through her teeth had always been one of them. Secrets are best spilled when one thinks you’re in on them, after all. </p><p>“Hopefully you’ll see Ed there. He wouldn’t miss it for anything except the new baby, of course. Plus, from everything I’ve heard, it’s a rather small affair. Only the closest of the close know. His and Winry’s absence will be felt.”  </p><p>Olivier nodded, signaling to the nearest butler to refill her glass. </p><p>Maybe Mustang really had slept his way to the Fuhrership, right past her. The bastard. </p><p>“Hey, Captain Havoc!” </p><p>Olivier turned to where Alphonse was waving. The Captain, also dressed in his best blues, was walking towards them. </p><p>Olivier held out her hand to stop him before he had a chance to salute.</p><p>“Havoc, it’s nice to see you,” Olivier said, surprised that she also truly meant this compliment. Havoc was a fine officer. Way to fine for the ranks of Mustang’s group. She had always believed Hawkeye and Havoc would have truly benefited from being under her command. </p><p>Maybe in a different life. </p><p>“General. Alphonse,” Havoc said. Up close, his cheeks were visibly flushed from alcohol. “Have you seen my wife? I think she wandered off somewhere with Hawkeye but I can’t find either of them.” </p><p>It took Olivier a minute to remember who Havoc had married. Ah, yes. Lieutenant Catalina, now Havoc, who had retired from active duty shortly after her marriage. </p><p>“No, I haven’t seen-”</p><p>“Captain Hawkeye!” Alphonse interrupted, spotting their target from across the room. </p><p>Riza turned towards the sound of her name. Seeing Havoc and Alphonse wave her towards them, she bid the gentleman she was talking to goodbye and joined the small group. </p><p>“Have you seen Rebecca?” Havoc asked as soon as pleasantries had been exchanged. </p><p>“Not for a while now. She went to get another glass of champagne and never came back.” </p><p>“Great,” Havoc said as he rolled his eyes. “She’ll be clinging to the porcelain throne tonight at this rate.” </p><p>“I can go look for her,” Alphonse offered. “I haven’t seen Mei in a while either, so I don’t mind making my rounds.” </p><p>“Please. I’ll stay in this area just in case,” Havoc said to the young man. “She drank so much after the last banquet she had to call out of work for two days after. She made me promise to not let it happen again but it’s kind of impossible when she’s missing.” </p><p>“She was pretty drunk,” Riza said as Alphonse walked away.</p><p>“How did you lose her?” </p><p>“I’m not here to babysit your wife. There’s someone else I have to keep an eye on, you know,” Riza said. Her eyes went across the room to where her direct superior was standing, laughing with a group of rich military widows. </p><p>His act made Olivier want to throw up. </p><p>“He can handle himself,” Havoc said with a wave of his hand, dismissing Hawkeye’s worry. </p><p>After a brief moment of contemplation, Olivier decided to go for it. </p><p>“So Hawkeye, you must know. Apparently Mustang slept his way to the top.” </p><p>To their credit, neither Havoc or Hawkeye reacted. </p><p>“Pardon, general? I don’t understand.” </p><p>“There’s a rumor going around that Mustang is dating Grumman’s granddaughter. I’ve never heard of him having a child, let alone grandchildren. You follow him around like a shadow. I won’t believe you don’t know. I’m not an idiot. Did Grumman pick Mustang over me because of that?” </p><p>Riza stood there for a moment, mouth opened in shock. She was speechless, completely dumbfounded, and for a moment Olivier genuinely felt bad. Riza Hawkeye was not easily rendered speechless. </p><p>“Rumors? Is- is that what everyone is saying?” </p><p>“If it helps, tonight was the first night I’ve heard anything about it.” Olivier said, bulldozing on. “So tell me, Hawkeye. Is that why the old man passed me up?” </p><p>“No,” Riza said. Her voice had stopped shaking and her composure had returned. “I’ve known Mustang for a long time…” Her voice trailed off before she heaved a large sigh. “I might as well tell you enough to calm your mind. It will be public knowledge soon enough.” </p><p>Olivier did not catch the bewildered look that flashed across Havoc’s face at Riza’s words.</p><p>“The Fuhrer’s granddaughter was the daughter of his apprentice. He’s known her since well before his military service. Her relationship to the Fuhrer was a coincidence they both learned later on. Her father had little contact with extended family.” </p><p>“Sure,” Olivier said, one eyebrow still raised. She trusted Hawkeye and truly respected the woman, but Olivier knew that the Captain’s loyalty was to Mustang and Mustang only. “If you say so, Hawkeye.” </p><p>“Speaking of Mustang, he’s coming this way,” Havoc interrupted, his voice tense. </p><p>“Hawkeye! What the hell! I’ve been giving you the signal for five minutes. The widows wouldn’t leave me alone. I needed you to get me out of there!” Mustang said as he approached. “I thought you were at the service bar with Rebecca!” </p><p>“If it helps, chief, I thought she was with Rebecca too.”</p><p>“Havoc, your missing wife is your problem and yours alone,” Riza said. Olivier could not help but notice the softness in Riza’s voice. Clearly she was grateful for the change in topic. </p><p>“Ah, General Armstrong. What a pleasure to see you!” Roy said with a large smile. </p><p>“Sure.” </p><p>Mustang’s smile vanished almost instantly. </p><p>“Something will never change, huh General?” </p><p>Olivier rolled her eyes so hard she could feel them graze her brain. “Shouldn’t you be off fraternizing with the elites?” </p><p>“But I am,” Mustang said, his cocky demeanor returned. “You are an Armstrong after all.” </p><p>“Oh my god. She looks so drunk. Please tell me both drinks aren’t for her.” </p><p>Sure enough, Rebecca was stumbling across the room, a glass of champagne in each hand. </p><p>“Riza! Yo! Rizaaaaa!” </p><p>“Getting her home should be fun, Havoc,” Mustang smirked to his subordinates’ dismay. </p><p>“Riza!” Rebecca stumbles upon the group, ignoring everyone including her husband. “Geez, Riza! How could you leave me like that! Your grandfather is driving me crazy. I don’t care if he’s Fuhrer, if he slaps my ass one more time, I’m going to murder him in cold blood. You can classify this as an official threat of terrorism. I shouldn’t have to put up with his crap now that I’m married.” Rebecca finished her tangent by changing an entire flute of champagne, oblivious to what she had just revealed. </p><p>Olivier paused, uncertain of the words that had just been spewed out of the mouth of former Lieutenant. </p><p>All the color left Riza’s face. To her left, Havoc stood there wishing for the sweet relief of death. </p><p>“Grandfather?” Olivier said the word slowly, carefully, as though it would burn her tongue if said with too much confidence. </p><p>“About that…” </p><p>“Why yes, Captain Hawkeye is the Fuhrer’s granddaughter,” Mustang supplied with a smile. </p><p>Riza shot him a murderous look. “Sir, stop talking.” </p><p>Olivier ignored her protest. “His only grandchild? Or do you have siblings I’m unaware of.” </p><p>“His only.” </p><p>“Sir. You really need to stop talking.” </p><p>By now, Mustang had caught on to the tense mood of the group. Only Rebecca, drunk and swaying at Havoc’s side, remained unphased. </p><p>“What is it?” He asked. </p><p>Olivier decided that it would be now or never. </p><p>“There’s a very interesting rumor going around, Mustang. A rumor that you and the Fuhrer’s granddaughter are to be married. Some think you slept to the top. It’s not too farfetched, given your history.” </p><p>“General- please-” Riza began to beg before Olivier cut her off. </p><p>“Apparently you are to be married in a small, private ceremony shortly.” </p><p>Roy and Riza stood there, paler than the moon with eyes wide and desperate. </p><p>“Armstrong, you have to promise-”</p><p>Olivier held up her hand, effectively silencing Mustang as well. </p><p>“Listen very carefully Mustang. I don’t believe in rumors. I don’t gossip. This is just a rumor after all. Whoever you love is none of my business. All that matters is that you didn’t sleep your way to the Fuhrership over me.” </p><p>Havoc, Hawkeye and Mustang all let out a collective sigh of relief. Rebecca simply continued to sip on the drink Havoc was too distracted to take away. </p><p>“I’m an Armstrong, Mustang. I don’t believe in stupid rumors. But if I did. I’d say congratulations. And also, what the hell is that woman thinking? Rumor is she can do so much better than the likes of you.” </p><p>Mustang paused, before cracking the softest, warmest smile in Riza’s direction. </p><p>“Well then, General Armstrong. It’s a good thing it’s just a rumor after all.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's all folks. Thanks for coming along for the ride! Let me know which one was your favorite. My personal favorite was "the one with the sweater" but I am pretty proud of all of these.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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